When the Ball Always Comes Back: Reframing Rejection in the Job Search
- Or Bar Cohen
- Oct 1
- 3 min read
Watching someone play tennis with a ball attached to an elastic cord seems almost meditative. The ball is hit, it flies forward, and inevitably, it returns.
At first glance, it may seem repetitive and even frustrating. But this simple exercise holds a powerful lesson for job seekers: rejection, like that ball, will always come back. The real question is not whether it returns, but how we choose to respond to it.
Rejection as a Learning Loop
Academic research consistently highlights that resilience in job search is a critical predictor of success. Wanberg et al. (2012) found that persistence in active job search behaviors directly correlates with higher reemployment rates. Just as the tennis ball’s return is inevitable, so are rejections along the career journey. Instead of interpreting them as failures, framing them as feedback loops transforms them into stepping stones toward improvement.
This perspective draws on self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000), which emphasizes the importance of autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Each rejection offers an opportunity to sharpen competence: Was the résumé aligned with the role? Did the interview highlight transferable skills? These micro-adjustments are what ultimately drive forward momentum.
The Emotional Side of the Return
Of course, the ball’s return can sting. Negative emotions are a natural response to rejection, and studies confirm their impact. McKee-Ryan et al. (2005) demonstrated that unemployment and repeated rejections frequently lead to decreased well-being. Yet, building emotional agility (David & Congleton, 2013) helps transform rejection from a source of paralysis into fuel for growth.
Like the player who knows the ball will come back, anticipating rejection as part of the process lessens its power. It becomes expected, even welcome, because it provides data to refine the next step.
Practical Tips: Turning Rejection into Momentum
Here are some ways to “swing again” when the ball comes back:
Reframe the Narrative
Instead of thinking “I was rejected,” shift the mindset to “I gathered new data.” Ask yourself what one insight you can take from this experience to improve the following application.
Seek Constructive Feedback
Not all recruiters provide it, but asking - even briefly - can yield valuable insights. Sometimes, a slight adjustment in phrasing, layout, or emphasis can make a significant difference.
Track Your Patterns
Keep a simple log of where you applied, how you tailored your CV, and the outcome. Patterns often emerge that show which approaches resonate most.
Build Micro-Goals
Instead of focusing on the single end-goal of securing a job, set micro-goals: “send three tailored applications today,” or “schedule one networking call this week.” Each completed step builds momentum and resilience.
Strengthen Your Support System
Peer groups, mentors, or job-search communities can help reduce the isolation that comes with rejection. Just as the tennis ball doesn’t “defeat” the player but keeps the rally alive, so too can community help keep you engaged in the game.
Remember Reciprocity
The energy you invest - customized CVs, thoughtful outreach, and authentic networking - comes back to you. Sometimes not immediately, but often in the form of future opportunities, referrals, or renewed connections.
Closing Reflection
The tennis player doesn’t stop because the ball returns; they swing again, smarter, stronger, and more precise. In the same way, each rejection in the job search is not an ending but a continuation. It is the ball returning, giving you another chance to play differently.
Resilience is not about never missing a shot; it is about having the courage to face the next ball when it comes back.
References
David, S., & Congleton, C. (2013). Emotional agility. Harvard Business Review, 91(11), 125–128.
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.
McKee-Ryan, F. M., Song, Z., Wanberg, C. R., & Kinicki, A. J. (2005). Psychological and physical well-being during unemployment: A meta-analytic study. Journal of Applied Psychology, 90(1), 53–76.
Wanberg, C. R., Kanfer, R., & Rotundo, M. (2012). Unemployed individuals: Motives, job-search competencies, and job-search constraints as predictors of job seeking and reemployment. Journal of Applied Psychology, 87(5), 779–790.
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